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Romance can be
described as that desirable quality or state of being that brings the best of
fiction and fantasy into truth and reality.
As we venture into discovery of a special friend, we go through a process
of exploration. Our minds fill with the potentials of where this relationship
may lead. We remember those pleasures of the past that we would like to convert
into this relationship. We reminisce about the possibilities of fulfilling each
other through hope of truly caring qualities.
Most times we are a bit
blinded by the newness of a relationship. Small flaws are overlooked, or held
captive in the blank of our minds. Excitement
does not allow these slight human qualities to hinder the possibility of future
happiness.
That wonderful carefree
attitude that now attracts you appears so different than the mundane world of
stress, responsibility, and/or boredom that has been surrounding you. Escape is
the order of this day.
The stories are all
new. The tales are all attractively adventurous. This makes for interesting
conversations. Your skin tingles at the touch of such caring hands on your
shoulders. You not only look forward to calling or seeing that wonderful person
again, you actually hate to leave them.
Life has renewed hope
for love beyond the reality of schedules. But remember that it takes some coming
back to that everyday routine to be able to fantasize about your dream. As the
dream becomes more the norm, it begins to lose value as an escape. There is
marvelous mystery in opportunity of opening and closing the adrenaline flow. You
swear that you will, or will not, be so close that you read each others thoughts
before the other thinks.
Etc…..
The fact that you are
viewing this part of our website is enough to show that this is, or could be,
the beginning of your lives together, as one.
This means you are about to entwine the best of both of you into one
relationship that is stronger than the sum total of the two individuals.
You will not lose each personality. You have the potential to grow into a
family that will endure through future generations for as long as Earth exists.
Something to think about, isn’t it?
The Cultured Cowboy
Wedding Mall tends to attract those souls who are attracted by romantic dreams.
After all, “The West”, be it Tennessee or the Ohio River Valley, California
or Montana, is a tale of romance in and of itself.
Those ladies and gentlemen who are interested in a lifestyle that leads
away from boredom will find our culture to be an advantageous adventure. The thunder of horsepower, by animal or engine, is the basis
by which many standards have been set.
Just as knights in
shining armor have legends of chivalry surrounding them, so does the modern
cowboy. Whether your idea of cowboy is rough stock rodeo or driving a steel
horse, there is something unique about someone who looks you in the eyes with
confidence. The air of independence that surrounds your choice for a mate
can be a bit overwhelming. Some of
the characteristics that set us apart from the mainstream, can make us hard to
wholly understand.
Most times the
difference between romance and disturbance is only in the attitudes of the
beholders. When the times get tough, remember those personality traits that
attracted you together. One day, you may even be making a list of likes and
dislikes. While life together is so special, make that list just to tuck it away
and savor on another day. Remember that life is a balanced scale that can easily
tip in either direction. Always
recall that romance is required to keep the scale tipped in your direction.
No one, no thing, can come between your relationship if you follow these
intrinsic examples.
Remember the Romance.
The same attitudes that attract you now can continue life as a journey that is
too short. Thoreau said, “Most people live lives of quiet desperation”.
(artistic license of an accurate quote) He meant that many people suffer a
“sameness”. They fall into a rut that they first find comfortable and never
journey forward. By failing to reach for the best they could become, their lives
become as the steady drone of tires, rolling down a highway, to nowhere special.
Most people become too satisfied to venture difference, and too scared to try
change. In life, you never stand still. You are consistently moving
through your allocation of time.
And time is too short for many wasted moments.
Keep those attitudes alive through nurture and commitment.
Remember the Romance.
Let every day be an adventure in the joy of uplifting each other.
Your greatest assets will be yourselves.
To bring good to the partner is to bring even better to yourself. When
you and your mate endeavor as one, any hurt or disappointment, likewise any joy
or exaltation, for either becomes enhanced through the other. As you enhance
your partner, you not only give feelings of comfort and confidence, there is
satisfaction knowing you enhance yourself. Life is tough on the outside. Commit
your home to an atmosphere of mutual love. Security will follow.
Remember the Romance.
Laughter is one of the best cures for a relationship needing revival.
Recall how wonderful your partner looks when they are wearing a smile. Keep a
smile on your face and a twinkle in your eyes.
The remainder of your physique may deteriorate with time, but those laugh
lines get more beautiful as they age. Learn to laugh at yourself. Recall silly,
sometimes foolish, things you did as an experience to laugh out loud. This way,
you learn through review, and something good can come from the lesson. Laughing
with your life can exude confidence. Holding back mostly leads to withholding
insecurities. Which would you prefer to become contagious in your home?
Laughter, or insecurity.
Remember the Romance.
Money comes and money goes. Sometimes it is better if you don’t have the money
for expensive gifts. Think about the real treasures of life. Take a little time
to write a love note, pick a bouquet of wildflowers or take some of the normal
duties away from your spouse. Gentlemen
need to remember that a relaxing night at home, your respite, is happening in
the workplace of your mate. Can you fully relax to enjoy your time together at
your place of business? Sometimes she needs a change of scenery.
Picnic in the pasture. Make her a rope swing at the wood’s edge. Spend
time dreaming together. Ladies, remember that your mate needs a home to relax
and forget the mounting stress of this day.
He may find a night on the town as more burden than escape.
Communicate your feelings so that you better understand the needs of each
other. Never assume!
Remember the Romance.
Make dates for yourselves. Schedule appointments, if necessary.
They may or not be elaborate, but they should be fun.
The anticipation is as much reward as the event. Tell each other how you
are looking forward to time together. Use your emotions to build into a
crescendo. Challenge yourselves to try new things together.
Add to this mix of new, some things that brought you close in the past.
Set goals for entertaining each other. To learn to grow toward common goals will
always be a challenge. As children
and other family members share your time, keep in touch with spousal needs as
well as the needs of all others. Your
marriage bond is not a place to cut emotional corners.
Remember the Romance.
Ladies need a total approach of time and tenderness for loving.
Men need to give, or provide love in order to feel needed. You have heard
this before, but realize that from time to time, your mate has the same needs
you have. Cowboys, this is not a timed event. Learn to cuddle without
consequence or expectation. Gentlemen need to know the needs of their lady. They
certainly cannot read their lady’s mind.
They think as men. As such, they will often misinterpret your need for rest, as
rejection. When you don’t feel the mood, sometimes allow this to be a time of
“quickie” for him. Sometimes he needs just that. When timing is just wrong,
always make a promise or commitment to the future. Gentlemen should remember for
every time your lady allows your pleasure, you should make a mental note to
double theirs. Keep a positive
balance in your love account!
Remember the Mystery.
When I have failed in my love life, it is because I became too
predictable. I attract ladies wanting romance, yet allowed my special little
attentions to become expected, then mundane. Working long hours from
self-employment, I wanted all time together to be special in some way. This is
impossible. I became too scheduled. There must remain some intrigue in the
personalities, and much ordinary among the extraordinary, in order to continue
timing euphoria. Don’t try for a high all the time. Don’t use technique to
try to replace quality together. This is like becoming an expert from a book,
rather than combining education with hands on experience. Be what a human is
designed to be, somewhat unpredictable. Beware of the dangers of too much
familiarity. Someone special was attracted to you, above all others, because of
your unique character. They devoted themselves to discovering you. Our
“West” was pioneered by people like us; people that had a yearning for
something adventurous. As one area became settled, many would pick up belongings
and move onward. Their hope was for something better on a horizon. People that
are attracted to adventure cannot help this wanderlust. Keep some mystery within
your soul. Surprise and awaken all of your emotions, so that some other mystery
does not gain attention and affection due you. Mystique is often why people are
attracted to the “wrong person”. Your mate is an emotional being.
Remember the Horizon.
Sometimes you probably need space. Allow your partner the same benefit.
Guys especially need time to sort difficult things through. Ladies
sometime need time with other ladies to remind themselves that they are indeed
ladies, not one of the guys. If you value time with friends outside the
relationship, be sure the friends you choose are valuable for your relationship.
Get everyone together some, so that there develops a commitment and
accountability between all. After a planned pause, come together with special
efforts to share your experiences with your partner. There is a day, and there
is a night between sunset and sunrise. If the colors were always as brilliant as
these spectacular times, if the Summer’s evening breeze would always be so
cool at midday, if hands could be held at all times, would they be so special?
Keep the Lord in your
relationship. Even with Christ on your side, you will have disagreement and
controversy. You are, after all, human. Form a positive loving
relationship based on the One who brought love to all who will accept Him. While
many wrongly believe that God has a bunch of archaic rules, God does not limit a
relationship. God calls both of you to your best. His promise is true leadership
through example. Study His book. Get a study edition in an interpretation that
you understand. Use Him to guide your decisions and you will never run far
wrong. His motive is love. He
commands us to love Him with all might, strength, and heart. Then to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. And
certainly, your spouse is to be considered your closest neighbor.
The Song of Solomon reveals ways to please your partner.
Genesis guarantees the sanctity of sex between husband and wife. Proverbs
has advice for couples that will describe the magnificent pleasures and warn of
the ever-present temptations and disturbances to avoid. Job reveals how to
handle hardship. Hosea teaches that there can be hope and forgiveness after
mistakes. Learn them all!
This world tells us to
share our bodies before marriage. See if there is compatibility. Try living
together before commitment. We then have learned to use sex to attract a mate,
rather than learning all the qualities above that will hold you together over
time and trial. Using our sexual gifts for substitution of discovery process
leads to having too many partners and the dilution of the meaning that orgasm is
supposed to play in the lives of married couples. God has a right plan. Keep sex
special and especially for that lifetime mate.
Once married does not mean to cut off this gift. The gift of each others
body was never meant to trap. The purpose is to enlarge and to enrich the
relationship for as long as you both live. Once married, the gift begins and
becomes more important with time. When the rest of the relationship is right,
there will be sexual compatibility. When the rest of the relationship is wrong,
this ultimate catalyst, love, can put it back on track. How many times have you
heard not to go to sleep while angry with each other? Guess what the alternative
should be! Do you wonder if it is too late for you? God allows us to begin again
as new creatures. Together, just ask Jesus for help. Thank God for sex in prayer
together. After all, He invented this for us.
It is too easy to run
from problems into the arms of another. When you are the delightful romantic
personality that you are, without total commitment to the marriage, the yearn
for romance that attracted you will be a great temptation to break you. Know
this. Having this knowledge will help you to recognize what may be happening in
your relationship as it happens, rather than after a large mistake. Recognition
leads to conversation. Let the conversation be open enough to reconnect as a
couple. Reinforce your spirit with the Holy Spirit. Pray together and often.
Use something truly larger than this life for your advantage. And the
neat thing is…God wants to be used for love.
May God Bless your
Matrimony!
Cultured Cowboy.
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