Happy Father’s Day

My Dad was unique in many ways. He would have a hobby for a year or three, then find another one. As I turned 10, I began to follow his trail. We went from dirt track car racing to restoring antique furniture, to fishing, to vegetable gardens, to horses. Charles never did anything halfway. He would go at a new hobby as if it were the last thing he would ever do. He got over the horses; moved from our horse farm, with a job promotion, and went into pit cooked BBQ mastery. I’ve been with horses ever since. Just can’t get away from them. The small horse farm I live upon is the place that he purchased during his “horse phase”.

When we were looking for a horsey place, Charles had decided to choose between 2 locations. One was a dream. The other was a “project”. I prayed hard for the ambition we now call Walking T Stables. We were able to make it a dream home. Yet, God does have understanding that confuses humanity though. Right after we built barns, arena, painted the old two story home, picked up thousands of rocks, built fencing, and had it “just right”, then two tornados crossing the property within two minutes of each other, allowed me to rebuild again. Took many years and many projects to get it right again. And weather has kept me guessing ever since! (And yes, the “project” homestead missed all that weather.)  

My Dad, with home imploded and barns in shreds, was offered a job in Mom’s home town, with a substantial pay increase. It was a “no-brainer” for him to move.  I asked if I could stay, clean up the debris, and rebuild. He thought that was a great Idea. Seems he was always having a bit of luck, all his life. He could run into deals no one else could believe. When things seemed bad, he could have good come from it. We needed time apart and circumstance certainly provided it. I earned scholarships for Lander University, about 4 miles from the farm. So he and I were free!

As I continued through my last teen years, and through this day too, I have tried to make the family proud of our little farm. Daddy has since passed away. I still yearn for his approval. And since he is no longer here, I can choose to get it! The old tornado torn house was replaced with another that serves as our store warehouse today. (Looks like a big house from the outside!) Rodeos, horse shows, clinics and more have been a part of our legacy. We have held some really famous visitors, like the Arena Productions Lipizzaner Stallions. And many less heard of kids that have since become congressman, contractors, artists, housewives, firefighters and just good people. They had a place to hang out, under the mentorship of people who were the right sort. They had chance to watch change in their lives and the lives of their friends. Rather than brag about what “I” have done, I know I only built upon Dad’s foundation. And all those “kids” chose their paths. We, several adults, teens and other kids, only guided.

Without the startup of my Dad, with his temporary horse hobby, I probably would not be the horseman I am today. Without that small horse farm, hundreds of kids would not have been raised with the values they now have. Or, with the experiences of how to get mad and get over it properly. Or, how to become leaders among their peers. Charles has no idea how many lives he affected. Charles has no idea of the teams he built, outside of his insurance job. This horsey hobby he started into, though he left, has helped mold people who have helped mold people in positive and productive lives. In the Bible, it mentions that a man who can leave an inheritance for his children is looked upon with good hearts. I have not inherited the farm. It is family property.

But, what I have inherited from my Dad was a sense of healthy work ethic. A destiny to make things happen for others. as well as for myself. I inherited a love of this life and a love for the next. A respect for all things living. Knowledge that family is important and life is too short to be fussing & fighting among each other.  And the horse experiences allowed introduction to the EAGALA model of equine assisted therapy. And the EAGALA led me deeply into Life Coaching.

My Dad was a good provider of how we might obtain things: barter, service trades, making treasure of another’s trash, as well as cash. He liked to holler, “Do as I say do, not as I do.” (He meant about smoking & drinking & occasional swearing.) So, although this saying was implanted in my mind, I wish I had learned even more of some of the things he did do well! And so, I learn from both his good nature and his other side. Both faces of Charles have been instrumental in my life.

Your children might have been perfect. Or, your children might have been human. Your Dad might have been perfect. Or, your Dad might have been human. He is your Dad. And the Ten Commandments state to honor your Mother & Father so that your life might be long. If you are under the age of 16, and not in touch with, or upset with your Dad, that’s probably part of growing up. (If there has been the rare case of abuse in your paternal relationship, seek proper help. You both need it so that a more positive relationship(s) can ensue.) If you are over the age of 17, man up, cowboy up, and get things right with him. Father’s Day is more than a new tie, or a new tie-down. It is more than a boot on his feet, or a boot up your …  It is a wonderful time to spend with him, and let him see, review for yourself, how much he has taught you. Tie a new knot in your relationship that can slip as tight or as loose as needed for the times needed. Neither father nor children should feel a hangman’s noose.

Some of you have a father, are a father, and might have children that are fathers. So, instead of trying to do a little, that means little, in so many directions, take this whole month of June and celebrate love in all directions of fatherhood.

Men, “Love is the secret of becoming a real man”. Never forget this. Jesus taught that all else is to be built upon loving your Father in heaven, and loving each other. Pretty smart idea, if you ask me. We do like to sleep at night, huh! (Yes, learn to Love your Self so you can love others.)  

So love your Father on earth, as you love yourself. Love those children of yours, as you love yourself. Love your children’s children because they are your legacy. Try to see life from all these points of view and it becomes easier to let things slide into place. I say this to fathers, because unlike Mother’s Day, when things are all about Mom, Father’s Day, if it is going to be a guy thing, should also  be about how we can become better Dads too.

1)      Pick your arguments wisely. Don’t need to win every time.  All can learn from debate of differing points of view. Both Dad and children need to feel importance.

2)      Call them. Don’t wait for a call. Don’t we really like to be ahead in “brownie points” anyway? Connect in ways that interest them. You can learn and grow from their discovery.

3)      Learn to lead them into discovering for themselves, the ideas you would like them to discover. Nagging, or commanding does not work as well as introducing better life choices.

4)      Know that the better legacy you can leave is not a bunch of toys by themselves, but the knowledge of how they can create/accumulate/mend/replace their own. When they understand things from a mindset that is based on abundance, not based on scarcity, they will enjoy being generous.

5)      Know that stuff rusts, rots, and falls apart. True love is forever. Leaving a lasting inheritance, by becoming the “poster child” of love, self-respect, forgiveness, and respect for God (& others). This example will be the best gift you can give all.

Hope this helps!
Love you all, 

Chuck
(864) 341 4775 cell

PS: We do have stuff for Dad at www.culturedcowboy.com and in our local store. And if you might like to entertain a gift that will last a lifetime, perhaps a 12 week program of Life Coaching. If you are game, I’ll arrange a two for one to father/son or father/daughter sets. Programs must be arranged during this month of June, for completion by November 15th.  Time is valuable and I only have limited availability this Summer. Here, you can save as much as you invest, in the future of many, whom you will influence in your life-spans. Learning together, you share, experience, reinforce double the value!  www.betterlifechoice.com